Brick Walls & more interesting thoughts...

Let me tell you that July 25th, 2008 was a sad day. I don't even know Randy Pausch, but I know that he passed away that day.... after having inspired millions with his fighting spirit, otherworldly optimism, and incredible imagination. Did I use enough adjectives for you? Truthfully, I could put so many more out there.... his unwavering commitment to his wife & kids, determination to live as long as he could for them, and his stubborn desire to share a 'Last Lecture' with many at Carnegie Mellon University... Little did he know he would come to mean so much to millions of people who would never have an opportunity to meet him. I wish I could thank him right now because he helped me overcome my brick walls--and there were many. Mr. Pausch tells us something about 'brick walls' that basically changed my outlook on life in May 2008. He wrote: "The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough."

My brick wall fell at approximately 4:00 pm CST on December 21, 2009 when I received an acceptance e-mail that I have been accepted to medical school. This is my third time to apply. I have taken the MCAT, a cruel and evil test, three times in three years. I will never take that crazy test again, but guess what... If someone told me I had to take it a fourth time---I would. Crazy? Yes. It is crazy, but Mr. Pausch is very right. The brick walls are absolutely there to stop the people who do not want things badly enough. I want you all to know that I want to be a doctor that badly. I want to be a part of improving people's lives through the practice of medicine. My heart lies with medicine and medicine has my heart. So, if it were necessary, I would do it because I know how badly I want to be a doctor.

I am not great at keeping my blog up to date, but I have been studying my life away all semester. I'm not sure that anyone even reads it anymore. However, if you are reading this---and you haven't read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, I hope that you will find the time to do so. It inspired me at a time when I desperately needed inspiration. If anything, living is the inspiration. In the tragedy of this man's death, I hope that we can all find a reason to live. I hope that we all conquer our brick walls & pursue our dreams--even one's that are not our childhood dreams (as Mr. Pausch lectures about in his 'Last Lecture' at CMU).

http://www.thelastlecture.com/

I wish you all a Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays! I know I will never forget this holiday season. My future has a purpose as of today. I will officially be Deborah Lee, M.D. in the year 2014! God is so great!

Blog FAIL!

Soooo.... How bout this blog, huh? It has been sitting, waiting patiently for my triumphant return since August!

Well, let me fill you all in... Things have been crazy with school & my trying to have a life at the same time... Unfortunately, I'm learning that in my Master's Program, life and school don't mix! The 24 tests they threw at us this semester are dwindling down. Now, we have about 9 left (Woo Hoo!). I am making A's on the tests with some B's sprinkled in the mix for good measure! I just hope that with my new MCAT score (It went up!!), I am doing what it takes to *finally* make it to medical school. Keep your fingers crossed for me (and a few thoughts & prayers every now and then would be much appreciated too!).

I interviewed here at TCOM (Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine) on October 22nd, and I hope that I hear good news to that end--but I know that since I am applying through a special program--my Master's Program--I will have to wait until either January or May. *Patience* <--easier said than done! I am not very patient, but I am going to try.

Many exciting things have happened since August--the *most* exciting of which was my sister, Martha Lee Bennett, marrying the love of her life, Brian Bennett, the first weekend in October. I have truly *never* seen her so happy & Brian looked pretty happy as well for a guy about to leave bachelor-hood behind forever! It was such a wonderful & beautiful event for my sisters and I because the last couple of years have been tough family-wise. We needed this happiness--a family event where everyone was smiling and *truly* happy. I'll take it & remember my family that way--hopefully, we can have a few more family occasions like this in the future... time will tell....

Also, I had the opportunity to go to Billy Bob's--a popular and well known "Honky-Tonk" in Fort Worth--where Country, Cowboy Boots, and the 2-Step are alive and well! I actually had a great time & our school sponsored the event--so it was free to get in (the BEST part of course!). Of course, my life is NOT complete without SoCcEr! I am playing in a co-ed soccer league in Fort Worth through UNTHSC, I picked back up my Spin Class habit, and I have developed a bit of a crush on lifting weights! Trust me, this has been great for my clothes--umm, they all fit! Even the ones from college that stared me down for two years--just waiting for their chance to get out of the closet for a while. haha--so I am trying to stay healthy & excercise--who wants an unhealthy doctor telling them what to do?? That's what I thought!

Other than that, I have watched a few college football games *on TV of course!*, and it's amazing how fun it is to just take time out from studying to do something that normal! :) I went to Dallas for a TX-OU watching party, and it was great to see friends that I hadn't seen in *forever* due to school. I went to a White Trash Wine Party last weekend at Liz & Jeff aka the 'Svadlee's' which I looked forward to for a month! The party was great & several people dressed up, which was awesome!! I had tons of fun putting my outfit together--and even though I didn't get to go as *all out* as I wanted, it still looked PLENTY trashy in person. lol. With www.PeopleOfWalmart.com as an inspiration, I really don't think you can go wrong?! The 'wal-creatures' on that site are AH-mazing. Over my winter break, I'm hoping to get back over to GeOrGiA to hopefully see friends, and I am just *crossing* my fingers I can fit that plane ticket in my tiny budget.. That would be an awesome thing to look forward to!

As for new friends, I have met so many awesome people here in Fort Worth through school with common interests--all hoping to do the same thing I am doing--and I know I will stay in touch with many of them even after our hectic & crazy year is over! So, for now, I am gonna just have to leave you hangin.... because I have to get back to studying for a pop quiz that will be coming sometime this week!

However, just know I am living the life--pursuing my dream--and even though *broke* is not a fun word to be associated with---HAPPY is the most important one I carry with me... I'm happy! So, that's all that matters. (I'll let you know at the end of the semester if this is still the case...lol)

I hope you all are doing well!

xo

debs
your Happy (and broke) Graduate Student!

Med Sci girls at Billy Bob's - Texas!
Roomies before having friends over at our house--known as the 'HDHK'.

The Bennett's making a quick getaway! :)
Four sisters together again - 1st time since 2007
With BK showing some UT love TX-OU weekend
White Trash Wine of '09 - Ready to hit up the local Wal-Mart... lol.

You win some, you lose some...

Want to know what happened in the 2nd Annual Blondes vs. Brunettes Football game??? READ ON... :)

I'm starting to get nervous--my adrenaline's running high--It's finally BVB - Dallas flag football night. The countdown is over and the time is here to trade our pearls and pleats for sweatbands and cleats. And so the Brunettes set out to take the game, to win it all, and to bring the Blondes to shame.

The first twenty-minute half was under way, and I ran my routes faithfully waiting for my chance to make a play. The Blondes scored first, which I hated to see, I just kept thinking 'we'll get it back, we're awesome--I believe!' The next Brunette drive, my time finally arrived. I ran a long and out route, caught a tricky catch, and sealed the deal--I have no doubt. Our running back caught the second pass of the night, scoring in the next play. This tied the game at 6 all & marked the first Brunette touchdown of the day.

The second half continued scoreless until the Blondes slipped by our 'D' and this time put 7 on the board making the score 6-13. I once again ran my routes faithfully, trying to be humble and wait my turn--but trust me when I say for the football my greedy hands burned! I caught two more passes, three and four of the night to be exact. The "Bru Cru" were on the move, ready to score, and that's a fact! We Brunettes worked relentlessly to even the score until in one of the last plays of the game our running back caught pass five and put 6 more on the board. Since the Blondes made a one point conversion in their second TD, we were still down by one, not a very good place to be. We decided to go for two, take the win, and the glory--but unfortunately a successful two point conversion does not end this story. Adrenaline got the best of us and the throw for two went further than we needed it to. The Brunettes fought hard, but the bottle Blondes prevailed--don't feel bad for us though because we hardly failed!

What matters most is the fundraising you see, and the magic number of the night is one-hundred fifty. One-hundred fifty what you may wonder?? Try one-hundred fifty thousand dollars raised for the Alzheimer's Association--I couldn't be any fonder--Of all the girls I met through BVB & all the fun times I've experienced in this summer of philanthropy. What a blessed time for us to be able to shine in fundraising and on the football field too--trust me when I say "Go Bru Cru!" We may have lost the battle but we definitely won the war. You see, in terms of fundraising for our cause we raised ten thousand dollars more! The Blondes just couldn't keep paces and this was apparent on their surprised faces. They can have their flag football trophy and the win. I'll take the knowledge that I made a difference in.... The lives of so many who unfortunately have to cope with the debilitating effects of Alzheimer's disease--to these people we bring hope! That someday there will be a cure & a way to keep loved ones for years and years more.

Thanks for all your support. Without you, there is no momentum, no cause. Please remember us next year and watch out for us because.... The "Bru Cru" will be BACK better, faster, stronger, more determined--to take the fundraising war and the flag football battle--right from under those little Blondes and their dye bottles.

A million thanks for all your help spreading the word & mission of BVB - Dallas. HUGE Thanks for those of you who donated to the Alzheimer's Association of Greater Dallas and to those who attended Saturday night's game. We had SO much fun--even though we lost 13-12. I hope to be able to participate in BVB next year, but only time will tell!

xo

debs

"Bru Cru" girls with Channel 8's Pete Delkus

With signs outside Channel 8 Studios @ Victory Park

With another popular brunette - Gloria Campos

Our Fabulous Coaches!Team Brunette!Warming up before the game! Running through our Game Day Sign!!

Another lost... another taken away.

Once upon a time, I remember thinking how lucky I was that I never had a loved one or friend diagnosed with or suffering from cancer. My grandfather had colon cancer, but it was before I understood what it was--probably before I was born, and he survived. I guess I should have taken the opportunity to knock on wood...

It seems that cancer is becoming an ever present part of reality as I get older. I almost feel I should prepare myself to battle this disease at some point. It's that real & can affect any part of the body--often asymptomatic until it is too late. If you are reading this, I hope you will take a quick moment to pray--or just take a quick moment of silence--in memory of the millions struck down by cancer. One day, living a normal life. The next, branded by cancer--facing a fight for life--a race to maximize time left with family and friends.

What brought this about? Recently, an old family friend full of life, spirit, well-known to her community, and well-loved by all was diagnosed with cancer for the second time. Years ago, when I was in high school, she had breast cancer, beat it, and went into remission. This spring she was diagnosed with bile duct (gallbladder) cancer & it claimed her life Friday afternoon. She was so alive, so young, such a beautiful person...

I just hope one day we beat cancer.... Uncontrolled cell growth... Who would have thought it could cause us so many headaches, tears, losses??? I will end with this.... Job 1: Verse 21

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship ²¹ and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes we aren't allowed to understand why.

Success or just a teaser?

So, upon checking my biostats final exam grade, I was three points shy of what I needed to achieve an A in the class (which is a 95 or greater... i finished at 93.8...below 95 is an A-).... However, our teacher stipulated that if we were perfect on the previous exam he would bump us up... I was 1 point shy of perfect.... When I checked my blackboard grade, I have an A.... but I am wondering if they just could not input A- with the blackboard software... gonna go look at my test tomorrow and find out.... c'mon A.... eek!

So, an A it is... :) very happy about that... now, on to the fall semester... biochem, gross anatomy, immunology/microbio, molecular cell bio, health disparities, and hopefully a soccer team to keep the stress off my back! lol.

xo

debs

Finals, but it's just the beginning of a long year!

So, finals week just happened last week for my Medical Master's summer semester. Not too much happened other than me locking myself in the library in a windowless room with ear plugs! Sounds super exciting? Well, even working Saturday through Thursday on my biostats class, I didn't feel ready for my Biostatistics Final on Thursday night... Should be interesting to see what I get in the class~grades are posted tomorrow! My biochemistry class was pass/fail--so I did the cool thing where I studied for 5 hours only (to make sure I had time for MCAT & Biostats). Interestingly enough, I felt like I didn't know anything on the final, but I made a 70 and ended up with an 84 in the class... However, as I said it is pass/fail---so no loss there! It is just getting me ready for "big league" biostats this Fall! :)

In other news, I have been shadowing D.O.'s & residents at one of UNT's clinics & it has been an awesome experience! The students I have spoken with love being at TCOM & that is encouraging! It just makes things feel that much better about being here! :)

I take the MCAT for the 3rd time August 14th. Please pray for me as I get ready to jump off a cliff for the 3rd time.... Here goes nuthin....

xo

debs

Blondes vs. Brunettes... the age old question will be answered on August 15th!

What is it? Blondes vs. Brunettes - A powder puff football game & fundraiser that directly benefits the Alzheimer's Association of Greater Dallas!

How can I participate? Donate $25 and receive FREE admission to the BIG powder puff game on August 15th (in addition to the "Super Bowl" After Party which is sponsored by Lone Star Brewery--so drinks are on them when you donate $25!).

Where? The battle begins @ 7:30 pm at SMU - Westcott Field on August 15th. BE THERE!

Again.... August 15th @ 7:30 pm when the Brunettes will answer that age old question once and for all--->BRUNETTES ARE BETTER!

For those who do not yet know, I am participating in the 2nd Annual Blondes vs. Brunettes powder puff football game to raise money for Alzheimer's Disease research. All funds directly benefit the Alzheimer's Association of Greater Dallas...

If you have time & are interested, please visit my personal fundraising page at:

http://www.active.com/donate/bvbdallas/brunettedeborah

It truly is an amazing cause. Just over 80 young professionals & students have so far raised more than $60,000 for Alzheimer's Disease research this year. Our goal is to reach $100,000. I personally have made it my goal to raise $500!

It is time to put this disease at ease & take control. I hope you will join us in our efforts... Every dollar is important in eradicating this debilitating, fatal condition that is Alzheimer's Disease. I appreciate you taking time to read this post & check out my fundraising page! Have a great week!

xo

Debs

Fifth Time's the Charm!?

Since I moved into a house in Fort Worth on a serious budget, I was fortunate enough to 'inherit' my queen sized bed frame, mattress, & box spring from Brenda's neighbor (Thanks Bren!), and a dresser and side table from my sister (Thanks Liz!)... But the one thing I knew I was going to have to buy.... (dum. dum. duum.) was a desk--I needed to find the perfect study space since that will be a major activity for me in the next year!

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I can be very indecisive. My sister Liz picked what I would order at restaurants probably until I was about 16! :) However, when I saw a black desk at IKEA that attached to a bookcase--I knew I'd found the one! Of course, since I wanted the desk so badly--It was completely out of stock! (Go figure!)

Well, 4 1/2 weeks and 4 trips to IKEA later (for something different each time), I have both pieces of my desk, and it is perfect. The size and storage abilities are amazing! I got the bookcase a couple weeks ago & the desk portion Wednesday night (Thanks Dad for driving to IKEA so I could study/relax/etc!), and this picture was taken Thursday morning--I stayed up until 6 am so that I could study when I woke up Thursday! :)

EXPEDIT Bookcase ($89.99) & EXPEDIT Desk ($50)

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I'll be getting ready for FiNaLs next week! Woo Hoo!

xo

debs

Viv 'the Terrible'...

For those of you who don't know---Viv aka ('Deborah's Storm Survivor') is my 1 year old lab mix I adopted from Operation Kindness on Oct. 3rd, 2008 after she survived hurricane Ike and was brought up from Galveston to be turned over to OK by my father's friend, Candy. I am lucky to be her mom!

I love, love, LOVE her & she makes me smile everyday... even when she kills my cell phone, chews my comforter, and rips her doggie bed to shreds... Well, today she killed her soccer ball--may it rest in peace. It joins pretty much every other 'soft' toy I have ever bought Viv---they all end up in the stuffed animal graveyard aka the trashcan... I was walking up the stairs to my room when I discovered the massacre & I ended up taking some pictures to document the debauchery... Let's just say poor soccer ball died a slow, painful death... haha.

The scene of the crime...
The guilty party and the empty soccer ball!

I think for now Viv will just stick to raw hides and her indestructible Kong ball!

hope everyone is having a great week!

xo

debs

A day in the life...

It's pretty funny to me... I used to get so tired at my lil J-O-B, and I would say to myself: "Man, I can't wait to start school so I won't be so tired all the time and trapped inside all day." Boy was I wrong--Even though I don't have class until 2 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays--If I am not up and at the library by 10 am--there is major stress! And it's amazing how these beautiful Fridays and Saturdays can turn into another opportunity to lock myself in a study room at the library! (What a cool girl.. I know..)

Balancing studying for my two classes, working on my applications, and re-studying for the MCAT for the 3rd time is not fun--but I find that as long as I can say I accomplished something each day, I'll take it! My first Biostatistics Mid-term came back a 99--so that was very positive. An A is a 95 so I hope that I can get it & move on to the Fall! My Final is Friday, July 31st. Other than that, my Biochem class is going fine (it's pass/fail) & I will take that final on Wednesday, July 29th--hopefully, it will be a good refresher before my Biochem class that I'll take in the fall.

I signed up for my MCAT date on August 14th at 2 pm, and I won't start school again until August 24th--so I am going to try and plan to do some fun things between taking the MCAT and school starting again--maybe explore Fort Worth--who knows! Any suggestions?

Anyways, not such an interesting post--but I am not exactly getting to do lots of interesting and crazy things! lol. The fun things right now are getting a chance to run @ 7 am on Monday & Wednesday mornings & 9 am on Tuesday & Thursday mornings--just 2 miles for now--baby steps. I do think I need to work spin class back in to my life! I totally miss the spinning high! Time will tell! I hope everyone is doing well!

xo debs

p.s. My dog Viv turned 1 on 7/7/09! She is such an absolute joy & I am going to post a cute pic of her as soon as I get it off my roommate's iPhone! Here's a teaser pic of Viv sleepin on her doggie bed I bought her at IKEA! :)

Bright Lights, Big City...

So, here I go... In an attempt to keep up with everyone---let's see if I can stay faithful to a blog! I don't know how I will do---but with the way things in life seem to be going (a million miles a second!), it's nice to update ppl through a blog instead of just not making contact with the outside world at all outside of my study cube! lol.

For those who do not know, I have been trying to get into Medical School--so I'm in a Medical Master's program at UNT Health Science Center to finally make it happen! I recently moved to Fort Worth & live in a house just off campus with two other girls from "the program" (Heather Kelly "HK" and Heather Dixon "HD" & our two dogs, my dog--Viv and HK's dog--Prissy!). We have really had a blast so far--and seeing as how we study all the time--it's been great having ppl to talk to instead of locking myself in the library and then going home to an apt where I hang out by myself!!!

I am just hoping & praying that I will do my best to finally get where I am trying to go with this life. I am always in a hurry (and I usually manage to be late anyways!)... So, let's get this going!

Until next time....

xo

debs